Mothers Day

I think Mothers Day is more meaningful to me on the years when i have a little baby. In 2007 and 2009, the boys were not even 2 months old, and this year my little Katie pie is less than 6 months old, and still so little. I was thinking about why it feels more meaningful these baby years, and I think it is because my focus is SO intent on this tiny creature that nearly my whole identity is tuned in to my role as a mother. Granted, I was managing apartments in the two other years, but my main focus was still feeding, changing, and getting baby to sleep. I adore my sweet baby and my sweet boys, and I am so blessed to be a mother. It is tiring and frustrating and suffocating at times - I remember that for months after Joshy was born, I could not get it through my head that life wouldn't just "go back to normal" after a little while. Life was never the same and I really mourned my independence for awhile. Now I know that we will have time to ourselves again in 18 or 20 years, and while that seems so far away now, I have heard from so many people that it goes so much faster than you expect. I love my children so much. While each new stage with Joshua brings up so much confusion and fear of doing the wrong thing, I recognize what an amazing little guy he is, and know we must be doing something right in our parenting.

Our visit

Well, let's see! We were really happy to go to the temple with Clarissa and Jason - it was great to see them both looking so happy, knowing they were giving their marriage the best start there is. They also had a nice laid back open house, and it was fun to spend some time with them on their wedding weekend.

We also spent time with Eric (who met baby Kate for the first time), Tawnia, Emily, and Mindy (and sweet Aria, too!). Of course we enjoyed lots of fun with Grandma and Grandpa Palmer as well.

We did lots of chatting and laughing, some games, cooking, playing outside, and baby admiring. I also had a great visit with Molly - a dear friend from Salem, who drove up to see us (well, mostly just to see baby...). The guys went on a hike in the Gorge, and us girls focused on the newest excitement - Emily's upcoming wedding!!

Aaron (who is awesome, by the way, and everyone approves. Good work, Emily!) proposed to Emily that Friday, and they are getting married on July 27th, so back we will be in a few months. Went dress shopping and enjoyed Emily's non-stop contagious grin that was rarely off her face from the moment she said yes!

Fun times...the timing belt on the van needed replacing, which added two days and $900 to the trip, but oh well.

My favorite parts were an EPIC (are you reading this, my dear? That was just for you) game of Apples to Apples, and seeing Emily in The Dress.

Home again!

It is always nice to come home, and this is the first time in about 10 years (31 years for Nathan) that returning home meant LEAVING Oregon. That was pretty weird. We couldn't get over how beautifully green it was during our visit...and all the many shades of green. And the rivers and streams! I am guessing that we may eventually end up in Oregon again, but the feeling may fade as we come to appreciate more the beautiful place we live. We are so grateful Nathan has a job, and how generous my parents are to let us live here with them. I am happy here, especially as it gets warmer and we can go outside more. I am still in love with Oregon, though, so someday we may be together again. We will be back at the end of July for Emily's wedding, and had already been planning a trip in August. The boys and I may stay there for the couple weeks between the two trips. We are still sorting that out. It was a very fun visit, and I can write more about it soon!

Packing!!!

Can't believe we are leaving tomorrow morning!!! So much to pack - kinda a lame post, but oh well. So excited!

Sickness

I hate how I tend to assume that babies won't catch any sicknesses from the people who love them so very much...it is just public places like church or the doctor's office that they will pick something up. Well my sweet baby had a rough time sleeping last night cuz of a pretty yucky cough. I hope so much she can get over it lightning quick and be ok for our trip to Oregon. Poor baby.

Sleep deprivation

I think baby may be going through a growth spurt, cuz she IS capable of sleeping for 6 hour stretches, but she doesn't anymore! I am so tired!!!

My children

Things I am proud of my kids for:

Joshua:
His Lego-building abilities - he was putting together big Star Wars ships by himself before he even turned 4, and soon after, he built Toy Story robots or Star Wars sets, just from picturing them and using pieces we already had.

His math skills - he can do math in his head that most of us counted on our fingers for many years after Kindergarten. Also, math games are his favorite thing at school.

His imagination - he comes up with very complex plots for movies and just while playing, and I believe he just may make a movie some day like he says he plans to.

His singing and musical understanding - before he could even talk, he could hum on key. He has very close to perfect, if not perfect, pitch, and has picked up quickly all the lessons that are taught in song form at school.

Henry:
His cuddliness and sweetness to his baby sister. Henry is very sensitive and loving, and always wants to give hugs and kisses. He also tells me he loves me many times a day.

His throwing and catching ability - he has been great at those skills from a very early age.

His ability to navigate through technological things like games on the iPhone - being patient with trial and error since he can't read the options yet.

His coordination with games on the wii fit and willingness to learn and try to master difficult things on there.

His deep thinking about theological or similarly complicated existential questions.

His amazing imagination - for many months he spent each day as one or more real or fictional characters or animals - taking on their mannerisms and unique attitudes. When he became a big brother, though, he stopped doing that nearly as often.

Katherine:
Her strength and courage through all the difficult stuff.

Her charmingness and how she makes everyone she meets adore her.

Her happiness and sense of humor - how she laughs at us and her brothers and everyone else.

Up-coming activities!

I am really looking forward to this coming weekend! Friday morning, we will drive to McMinnville, Oregon, and stay until Tuesday morning! We are going down to celebrate Clarissa and Jason's wedding, and it will be a lot of fun. Eric, Tawnia, Emily, Mindy, and baby Aria will also be there, so it will be a fun reunion! On Monday, we will go hiking to Silver Creek Falls, which should be a lot of fun, too. I really miss Oregon, and while the long car trip won't be super fun, I am definitely excited about the destination!!

My next 30 years

So some early thoughts about my next 30 years...
I would like to be more confident...not letting fear of the unknown stall me or possible negative circumstances stop me. By this, I mean things like adventures with the kids, mostly...not getting caught up in what stressful stuff could happen.

I would like to be more active - getting outdoors, getting in shape, learning a new skill perhaps...but being active.

I want to prepare my three precious critters for real life - help them to know how to do the things they will need to know when they move out.

I would like to be smart with our finances, and think carefully about the decisions we make.

In 30 years, my baby girl will be 30. I want to enjoy the time after the kids move out...to travel and have fun, so I want to keep myself healthy so that will happen easily.

I want to not complain so much or be so negative. I want to count my many blessings so much more often than i complain about my routine challenges.

Well that is all for now!

Baby Katie-pie's first months

Before sweet baby Katherine was born, we were very worried about her having a cleft lip and palate. My biggest worry, which every parent with experience told me NOT to worry about, was that I would look at my baby with some degree of disgust or discomfort. While of course her lip was quite noticeable, she was and is still my precious beautiful cuddly warm baby. You just can't quite help but feel that way about your own child!!

The first 6 weeks were rough cuz she had a very hard time gaining weight, and then from 2 months until now (close to 5 months), she has had to wear the NAM appliance. She will have it for a little less than one more month. Lip surgery will be on May 22nd!

Short posts

These posts are short because one of my daily goals now is to post on here, but my time to do it is kind of random...

30!

Wow...30 years old today!! I have no problem with turning 30...I have accomplished so much in my first 30 years- especially my precious boys, girl, and a great marriage. I want to write an "In my next 30 years..." post similar to the Tim McGraw song. Now headed up to Spokane!

My sweet new baby

In July of 2012, we were excited to find out our third little critter would be a girl! In the same ultrasound appointment, we found out she had a cleft lip and cleft palate. This news was pretty emotional and we had a lot to do to prepare for her arrival!

Starting again!

I plan to get started posting on here again, to check in about goals and things. I did end up finishing the felt playhouse, for Christmas 2012. Evelyn helped a LOT to get it finished. Our family of four is now a family of five! Baby Katherine McKenzie came along on December 2nd, 2012. So much more to say, but I will say that for now.

Anticipation!

I know that I said I'm not going to focus so much on the future that I forget to appreciate the here and now BUT there are some things in the near future that I'm very excited about!

Friday, June 10th - Nathan finishes his last final of his first year and summer begins!
Saturday, June 11th - Going to see Cirque Du Soleil in Eugene with my sweetie!
Tuesday, June 14th - Going up to Seattle to see Geoff and his girlfriend and my grandma
Wednesday, June 15th - A quick visit to Tall Timber Ranch and Leavenworth, then making the drive to Moscow, Idaho to see Mom and Dad until the 20th!!

Other things this summer I'm very excited about: Seeing Tawnia, Mindy, and Aaron when they come to visit us in Oregon, going on hikes, the 4th of July, going backpacking, and getting Joshy ready and excited for pre-school! Yay!

So much to look forward to. Somewhere in there, I should also finish the playhouse - gotta get it done before the boys are in middle school!!

Well tonight Nathan won't be home until late - he is proctoring for a final exam that doesn't start until 8pm, so he'll be home sometime around 10:30. While I do miss him, and bedtime routines are a bit more hectic, I tend to be much more productive after dinner when he's not there. I think that's partly because I can't hang out with him, but since he is usually studying much of the evening anyway, a big part of it is that I don't have the feeling of accomplishment knowing he's coming home to a nice clean home, so I'm not quite as motivated.

A "Can-Do" List

I've always been a big fan of To-Do lists - I LOVE checking things off, though when the list seems neverending or some things stay on it for weeks and weeks...I don't love it as much. Part of my advice to myself (see my last post) was to think of all the things I can do in a regular day that make me happy, so I listed a bunch of them. Then I made a check-off list. I'm not going to do this forever, but for awhile at least, I'm going to keep track of how many of the things on my "Happy List" or "Can-do List" that I do each day. The things on it are not always things I enjoy doing, like taking out the garbage or scrubbing the toilet, but they are things that I feel happier when I have finished them. When I look at my list at the end of the day, and see that I have played pretend, read stories, exercised, cleaned up my home, read my scriptures, said my prayers, cooked a good meal, called a good friend, gone to the park, etc. that is when I feel contented. When I haven't checked many of those things off my list, that's when I feel grumpy or low or negative. So the point of this list is to visually give me ideas of what will leave me feeling happy at the end of the day, and what will make me happy throughout the day. My assumption is that I won't NEED the visual reminder for long, but it is very helpful for now.

This way, I don't think to myself, "Well, I'll be happy when Nathan graduates and we move out," but instead I think, "Well, I'll be happy when I've exercised and had fun with my boys and got my home in order and went on a date with my sweetie, or went on a hike, or wrote in my journal, or posted on my blog, or worked on the playhouse..." If I focus on a year from now, I'll miss THIS year. If I focus on all that is good and wonderful and new and fleeting about THIS year, I'll be happy.

At church a couple weeks ago, at a women's conference, I went to a class about finding Joy within. The wonderful teacher described that to be joyful is a choice...things might make you happy, but you must choose joy. She said that some of her most profound joy was found in some of the most difficult times in her life, and it is all about making those choices within yourself, not being a passive recipient of the good or bad or boring or monotonous or fun or easy things that life throws at you, but truly seeking out and finding joy however you can.

C.S. Lewis also wrote a book called Surprised by Joy. I studied it in college, and I own it...I think it would be a great time for me to read it again. Right now I'm finishing up the Chronicles of Narnia...I think I'm on book 5 of 6 now. Sounds like Joshy is fighting bed time, so I should go attend to that now.

Good advice

Ever since having Joshua, which threw us for a loop in terms of schedule of big life events (meaning that we'd planned for Nathan to finish school and me to work for another year or two before we started having children), I've had a lot of clarifying moments... Times like when I realized that life would never be the same, would never go back to "normal," that this was normal now, or when I've had to change my attitude to be more grateful or just times when someone puts things in perspective for me. Those kind of times. I've been doing ok at sorting out my thoughts in my journal sometimes, which does help, but not enough.

Sooo, I came up with an idea that seems to have been incredibly helpful to me. Instead of musing about what's going on...or summarizing or describing, or whatever, I tried something else. I gave myself advice, like as though I was someone else. Maybe it seems silly, but I was literally like, "Ok, Amanda - here's what you need to do," and then lectured myself in writing. It was great! All I had to do was think of it in terms of what I would say if someone else had just been telling me about where they're at. I love giving advice...well most of the time...and it is a lot easier to give advice about other people's lives than actually to get your own stuff together, you know? So I gave myself some good concrete advice and I've followed through with it.

Very psychological, I guess...cuz really I do know that it's just me telling me stuff, but it made a big difference and I highly recommend it.

Oh blog...

It's been awhile. I love it when the sun is shining.

Playhouse progress

Here are some of the pictures of my recent playhouse creations, though there are a TON of things I've made that I haven't photographed them yet. I'll try to get them up here this week.


This is the apple/orange/pear tree. I have a million leaves for it, but I haven't quite decided if I'm going to sew them on before or after it is already sewn to the playhouse. I'm thinking before, cuz i need to put on velcro patches.


A volcano to go with the dinosaurs!

This little piggy got in a fight, but when I offered to change how the eyes look, Joshy freaked out and wanted it to stay the same...so stay the same it will.

Baaa!

A basket made in the same style as the corn - it will be sewed on. Behind it there will be a hole so that the fruits or vegetables can go into the playhouse. It is kinda fun now to carry stuff in it already!

See?

A mail bag - Mr. Delivery Man sure loves it!

A package to deliver - we have decided it is a box of chocolates, which is always well received.

For a very long time, there have been three letters - one for Joshua, Henry, and Dada. Mr. Delivery Man was thrilled when there became four letters, so that now Mama wouldn't have to be disappointed anymore.

A nice set of four - all with our favorite color of stamps, though the lighting isn't very good so you can't tell very well.

The mail bag nice and full!

A fence for one of the sides. When I started measuring out where things would go, I actually had to cut off a section of the fence to be able to fit it where I wanted it.

I've been realizing some things with the playhouse now, like that I can't have a window next to the front door like I thought I could, so I'm having to figure out a new place for the window with window box, and I'm actually really filling up all the sides now - it's exciting!

I think I'll be going up to Nathan's parents' to get some help with the sewing machine part of it in a few weeks, and I definitely am still planning on having it completely done by their birthdays. The crazy part about getting the outside to almost be done is that Joshy has all sorts of ideas for the inside - a fridge with food, an oven, a bed, a vanity mirror, a fireplace, etc etc etc. Off I go!

the playhouse is in progress once again!

Well now we're living in Albany! Didn't end up moving to Corvallis, though we lost our $400 deposit...that sucks. We're managing again - a much smaller, less stressful complex, so that's good.

I'll post more about the boys soon, but I wanted to post that I'm working on the playhouse again and I'm really excited about that! Since the last set of pictures, I completed a woven basket, a mailbag, a package - I don't think I posted pictures of that one, a volcano, a fence, a large tree, a million leaves, and today I finished a letter for Mama (there was already one for Joshua, Henry, and Dada), and "Mr. Delivery Man" kept getting disappointed that he could never deliver a letter to Mama. I think that's all I've worked on lately, but I'll get some pictures posted in the next couple days.